“For the completion of the life cycle, the famed firebird builds its funeral pyre. After setting itself alight, it burns until nothing but ash remains. And from that ash and flame, the phoenix rises.”
An iridescent phoenix rising out of ashes provides a powerful metaphor of second chances and hope. Sadly, the reality of hauling my geriatric ass out of the trenches and into the halls of academia did not conjure the same effect. It seems that the line between being a self-proclaimed spawned out old ho and a full-time university student is more blurry than than my recollections of the Reagan years.
About a year ago I decided to quit my day job and go back to school. I meant to finish after the tenth grade, but life men just kept getting in the way. Now that I have finally figured out how to dodge those wily critters, I am aiming for a bachelor’s degree this year. Going back to school is one of the hardest things I have ever done (that I will admit to in a blog). For one thing, I am not depending on the lower 7/8 of my body to make the rent anymore. It’s all very cerebral, and frankly, I was not prepared for the pressure of constant thinking, which is not to be confused with constant drinking. In fact, now that I can’t afford my favorite old pastimes, I daresay that my ambitions of cirrhosis are rapidly fading. Shit, by now my liver is probably clean enough to donate to a church. Ya know, for some sort of sacrament.
Demographically speaking, the vast majority of my school peeps are twenty-somethings. This in itself is not necessarily a bad thing, however, it certainly serves to reinforce that notion that women “of a certain age” become superfluous to younger generations. Truth be told, I don’t mind the demotion to the ranks of the invisible. It’s easier to stay on track with studies if I am not peer pressured into attending a kegger every weekend. And when I am asked to come out and party, I can always play The Granny Card. That bitch trumps virtually everything!
Meanwhile, it is my ultimate intention to justify a 14-month hiatus from blogging with such profound imagery and literary prowess that you will either be awestruck by the wordilicious goodness that my education is providing me and forgive the long absence – or – you will kindly suggest that I return my student loans and recommend a skipper that will (A) take my old ass to sea, or (B) marry it into submission. Stat.
Be on the lookout for more academic hoohaa as I will be aiming to pump out some chronic tales for your perusing. Meanwhile, I got to get out of here before I get caught for burning up another bird.
* Thanks to these folks for the phoenix pic