green-cowgirlI’ll shoot any man that looks at me wrong, or make love to any man that looks at me right. -Ellen Banks, 1886

When I was young, my Daddy taught me how to shoot.  Some years later, my Momma showed me where to aim.  While that ain’t entirely accurate, in this particular version, its going to have to suffice…  In other words, you’re going to have to wait for the movie like everyone else.  That said, I want to tell you that I like guns.  Guns are phallic and pretty and quite useful, and if you are a handy shot, you get to fill your freezer. (Of course, if you are phallic, pretty, or at the very least – useful, maybe someone else will fill your freezer for you.)

As for me, owning weapons was a luxury that came and went with the men in my life.  I’m not saying that I had to “hide the evidence,” but… I’m not saying that I didn’t either.  At various times I have possessed my own handguns, shotguns, rifles, one pistol, two waterguns, and a trusty wrist-rocket.  In fact, the latter was my weapon of choice for many years after one particular incident when I shot a big fish out of a little boat.  On my honeymoon.  First shot.  Northern pike.  No shit.  That husband (Lord rest his soul) never repeated the story to anyone, and he never looked at me wrong again.

Meanwhile, times have changed and it is no longer quite so easy to be a pistol-packin’ person.  One must take into consideration that a bevy of political issues have changed the world forever, commencing with military conflicts and the ravages of war-torn countries; a world population explosion that most certainly assures violent crime proportionate to hunger, poverty and desperation; and right here in America, where we are so proud of our Second Amendment rights, there is an unquestionable surge in gun violence that became undeniably apparent around the time of the Columbine High School shootings in 1999.  For all these reasons, and so many more, some gun laws have changed, whereas others are still bouncing around in the perptual limbo of controversy.  gummybearfiles9

Without aiming to sound like Polly-Annie-Git-Yer-Gun here, I swear I just don’t get it!  Don’t they cover this in elementary school any more?  What about Sunday school? Hunter Safety classes?  This past weekend, an eight-year old boy shot and killed two grown men with a .22 caliber rifle.  One of the men was his father.  While the circumstances of this particular incident remain to be elucidated, the fact is that the NRA should seriously consider a brave segue back to reality and away from all the fear-inducing propaganda that has prompted record gun sales in recent weeks.

Right now, it’s hunting season in most states, and for some people that means a freezer full of good eats.  For others, it might mean something else (I ain’t naming names)…  Nonetheless, I encourage you to thoroughly investigate the political stands that your elected officials take on gun issues before you go shooting off your mouth about gun rights.  I have belonged to several pro-gun and pro-hunting organizations in my time, and I am also cognizant of the fact that some laws are for our protection and safety as well as for our right to bear arms.  I encourage you to use common sense and also not to get romantically involved with the sort of people that might accidentally end up on a one-way hunting trip.  Enough said.

For some less-controversial gun fun, try building a spudzooka! The WSW is partial to anything that includes AquaNet hairspray for propulsion, especially because I support the arts.  ***Be sure to check out Alaska’s own Lulu and the AquaNets!***

Big kudos to Mama’s Little Chickee, Inc. for THE GUMMY BEAR FILES photo!



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3 responses to “Polly-Annie-Git-Yer-Gun

  1. Pingback: BlogBites. Like sound bites. But without the sound. » Blog Archive » Guns are phallic and pretty and quite useful, and if you are a handy shot, you get to fill your freezer. (Of course, if you are phallic, pretty, or at the very least - useful

  2. mamma's little chickee (now Calamity Jr.)

    I love spudzookas! I got to shoot on once with a former employer of mine 😉

  3. Down here in the lower 48 (WA State), we’ve had ourselves a spree of police officers getting gunned down by domestic violence perpetrators who should have been behind bars where they belong. . .six dead cops in six months.

    A guy got shot in my parking lot about 10′ from my car in a domestic-violence-related murder about a week ago.

    Now, the cops are shooting-to-kill people with guns in their hands and asking questions later. This afternoon it was a guy probably driving under the influence who was stupid enough to pull out his gun on a cop. Cop didn’t take any chances. Decided that if somebody was going to become a widow this afternoon, it wasn’t going to be his wife.

    So, thanks for this post. I’m so happy to see you are blogging again. Love, love, love your posts.

    BTW, have you read A BAD DAY FOR SORRY by Sophie Littliefield? You’ll love the cover! She’s got your bad-ass attitude.

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