When a Hero is More than A Sandwich

I have the heart of Mother Teresa, but it’s trapped in the body of Mae West. Anyone who knows me is aware that, although it sounds funny, I really do believe it.  They are both my heroes, just for different reasons.

For nearly half a century, Mother Teresa wandered barefoot through the streets of Calcutta, ministering to the sick, the destitute, the dying.  She once referred to herself as being, “… like a little pencil in God’s hand…” claiming that she did nothing, … “He did all the work.”  Her humility struck me hard at a very young and impressionable age and I once greatly desired to go to India and hang with her.

Soon thereafter I discovered the other great influence of my life, Mae West.  The unequivocal queen of double entendre, West was an unprecedented female pioneer in the silver-screen industries as an actress, screenwriter, and playwright.  Her bawdiness, beauty, and brash persona mesmerized me, while her ambitious sexuality simultaneously inspired me, let’s just say, beyond words.

Somewhere between my saintly yearnings and not-so-saintly inclinations, I managed to find some equilibrium.  Just like you, I wanted to do good things for the world.  Just like me, I got waylaid by all the naughty diversions that kept landing in my so-called path.

Aye, there is a mighty fine line between intention and actualization, and I am continuously straddling it. For example, I yearn to effectuate World Peace.  Yes, it is a lofty ambition, but I think a person should aim high.  In truth, the closest I have come to achieving said goal is “one piece at a time.”  Another aspiration is to shelter the homeless and feed the hungry.  Ironically, that reality is much the same as the aforementioned world peace… my excuse being that Alaskan winters have always been too long to muck through unaccompanied, especially when there is wood to chop and deer to skin.  (Don’t even think about asking me about how mechanical repairs happen.)

Fortunately, after years of trying to reconcile the vast differences between my heroines, it occurred to me that they were, in fact, in accord on many subjects and, by golly, I am so relieved!  Check it out:

Mother Teresa said: In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love.

Mae West said: Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.

My interpretation: Do things. It’s all good.

Mother Teresa said: I want you to be concerned about your next door neighbor. Do you know your next door neighbor?

Mae West said: Love thy neighbor – and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.

My interpretation: Can I borrow a cup of sugar?

Mother Teresa said: If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one.

Mae West said: One and one is two, and two and two is four, and five will get you ten if you know how to work it.

My interpretation: Math gives me a headache.

Mother Teresa said: Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.

Mae West said: Any time you got nothing to do – and lots of time to do it – come on up.

My interpretation: Always use a condom.

Mother Teresa said: Good works are links that form a chain of love.

Mae West said: A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.

My interpretation:  Apparently bondage can lead to salvation.

Mother Teresa said: God doesn’t require us to succeed; he only requires that you try.

Mae West said: Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

My interpretation: The Devil made me do it, but God gave me permission.

Mother Teresa said: One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody.

Mae West said: It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

My interpretation: Sometimes it’s okay to dress like a hoochie mama.

Are you seeing a pattern here?  Perhaps you have one hero, or maybe you have several heroes.  You may even live a hero-free existence.  Either way, I think it’s dang near delicious to sandwich your true identity between the various attributes of whoever rocks your world, assuming that you can live with the consequences of your own ambitions – or better yet, find a way to justify them.  I did.



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9 responses to “When a Hero is More than A Sandwich

  1. Now that was great!

    It’s always so much fun to be careful instead of good.

  2. I was introduced to you site in sept of this year. I love it! It was my first trip on a fishing boat and it was a trip I’ll remember foreverI Perfect weather and wonderful company. your Site pretty much touch on subjects I can, well lets just say- agree completely on. Especially the men write-ups. Herring fishing is up and comming. A survival ‘or not ‘ guide I hope is forth comming. This will be virgin territory for me but I’ll be under the guidance of an “old salt”, dare I call my best friend that. I’m going along just as a rider to watch the fisherey unfold. So to March we set our adventurous hat. This should be fun!

  3. dustybee

    You can rest assured… The WSW will happily share herring season survival training. Boys Beware!
    First, however, we must get through winter’s Holiday Season to be better prepared for “Man Season”
    Am very glad you are enjoying the site. Comments are always appreciated. Happy holidays!

  4. Winter is “Man Season?” And here it’s springtime when a young man’s fancy turns to love. No wonder things never work out.

  5. dustybee

    Oh honey, Sitka Herring, NOTORIOUSLY known as “man season,” is in March-April when the herring SPAWN…. Winter is when we babes are resting and/or resting up for Springtime. Actually, things always work out if ya live to read another day…. it’s all a matter of perspective! xoxoox

  6. Women who run with the Wolves

    I have a very “HOT” pin for you….it’s in reference to our MIA queen gov. I am already sporting mine around town.

    Also, I have a girlfriend that takes a yearly dip into the herring spawn out at the rec. No lie! She’s out there in her totally white (no sun) birthday suit swimming through the spawn. Her husband is the “Look out” and sits on the bench drinking a beer, while she paddles away. She swears that it takes years off of her and is thinking about possibly marketing the product….ok, now that part of the story is a lie, but maybe it might be something worth looking into?

    Don’t forget to pick up your pin to wear proudly.

  7. dustybee

    By golly, that woman is now MY hero too! Maybe we should all take a beauty dip for herring season… are you down with that?!?!

  8. i would not have decided this had been neat quite a few years back however its crazy exactly how years adjusts the method by which you see completely different creative ideas, many thanks with regard to the write-up it is really great to browse through anything sensible now and then in lieu of the conventional trash mascarading as blogs and forums on the net, i’m off to enjoy a couple of rounds of facebook poker, take care

  9. zoolander

    i love mae west. temptation is the best thing god ever gave us.

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