About a month ago, I stumbled upon the following tidbit, compliments of NPR, that simultaneously shocked and amused me in ways that I had formerly likened exclusively to dating much younger men.
“Most parents would never dream of spending a weekend torturing kittens for fun with their families, but hooking a sea kitten through the mouth and dragging her through the water is the same as hooking a kitten through the mouth and dragging her behind your car,” PETA campaign coordinator Ashley Byrne states.
Yeah. Exactly the same. Only not remotely the same.
Because I am a passionate fisheries babe, and because I simply adore critters and cowboys and occasionally a really dirty martini (ditto for the cowboys); for all these reasons and so many more, I cannot resist stirring the pot.
Yup. Its appalling to think that these asshats from PETA intentionally schemed to manipulate children and, perhaps, developmentally challenged adults into thinking that fish are not fish, but that they are furry wittle puddietat fwends. With frickin’ fins.
“People don’t seem to like fish. They’re slithery and slimy, and they have eyes on either side of their pointy little heads—which is weird, to say the least. Plus, the small ones nibble at your feet when you’re swimming, and the big ones—well, the big ones will bite your face off if Jaws is anything to go by.
Of course, if you look at it another way, what all this really means is that fish need to fire their PR guy—stat. Whoever was in charge of creating a positive image for fish needs to go right back to working on the Britney Spears account and leave our scaly little friends alone. You’ve done enough damage, buddy. We’ve got it from here. And we’re going to start by retiring the old name for good. When your name can also be used as a verb that means driving a hook through your head, it’s time for a serious image makeover. And who could possibly want to put a hook through a sea kitten?” – PETA
And who might want to put a hook through a sea kitten? Oh, I dunno… maybe someone that enjoys hunting, catching, or eating wild seafood… Call it what you may, wild sea kitties are delicious! As a livelihood, commercial harvesting is not only exciting, it is lucrative, gratifying, good old-fashioned labor intensive work. As a sport, it is a wonderful way to pass time with family, friends, or just alone with a couple of cold ones; and as a subsistence-oriented undertaking, it is a legitimate way for coastal people to continue the perpetuation of the species while simultaneously keeping the natural ecosystem working for everyone’s betterment. Futhermore, from a scientific perspective, “kittening” is a necessary and inevitable method utilized to maintain healthy stocks important to commercial, recreational, and subsistence fisheries. Here in Alaska, these activites are closely monitored by a variety of public and non-profit agencies with complicated acronyms for names that are concerned with ocean stewardship as well as sustainability, management and economic opportunities.
Suppose you are reading this and thinking that WSW is entirely biased and possibly ruthless in her support of kitty-killing. Maybe you think those nice folks at PETA are just misunderstood. Well, here’s another perspective via the Penn & Teller: Bullshit show. Check it out.
And if you still got something to say, remember this: While the WSW is a dedicated champion of the catch-and-release boyfriend program, she thinks that sea kittens are for keepsies.
Thanks to stripersonline for the hilarious comic