Forget FEMA, we got the Zamboni

With only a few fun-filled days remaining until V-AK Day, one dare not speculate what sort of wacky hijinks our future ex-Gov might get into before the Relief Gov comes a-slouching into Bethlehem.   Alas, only time will tell…  Time, People, Letterman, Beck, The Star… all of the ever-vigilant media, that is. My secret hope is that she follows her own analogy and goes with the flow right out of America’s scuppers; the reality, however, is that she will most likely fall hard into the starboard side of the political lazarette and flip-flop around until someone tosses her over.  Oops.  Well, you read it here first:  I lose more husbands … Continue reading Forget FEMA, we got the Zamboni

Happy Birthday, I Want a Divorce

Fireworks displays are scheduled to light up the skies around the country this weekend to celebrate the adoption of our Declaration of Independence in 1776.   That singular momentous event marked the beginning of a New World Order of sorts, when Baby America pulled herself off the British tit and began the arduous journey towards self-actualization and Independence. According to a letter from John Adams to Abigail Adams, “The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be … Continue reading Happy Birthday, I Want a Divorce

Midsummer’s Eve

Not a commercial for a feminine hygiene product, the 21st of June is Midsummer’s Eve – an event widely celebrated in the Northern European countries – particularly Scandinavia, however, it is more commonly known elsewhere simply as  the Summer Solstice. Beyond the obvious fact that it is finally the first Day of Summer, according to G.S. Hawkins in the book, “Stonehenge Decoded,” the historical significance of the summer solstice can be traced to pre-historic times when… …summer was a joyous time of the year for those Aboriginal people who lived in the northern latitudes. The snow had disappeared; the ground … Continue reading Midsummer’s Eve

No More Waiting With Baited Breasts

Where’s the Well Seasoned Woman?  Word on the docks ranged from marriage to witness relocation program, and even the ever-popular death by misadventure.  The truth, however, being mundane by its very nature,  is that this WSW took an unforeseen hiatus from dang near everything for a spell. When I wasn’t driving through tourist-infested streets of Sitka – trying very, very hard NOT to, oops, make a Geriatric Hood Ornament out of every dang codger that confuses our main traffic thoroughfare with a Disneyland boardwalk, I was busy sheltering the homeless, feeding the hungry, and discovering a cure for cancer.  Okay, … Continue reading No More Waiting With Baited Breasts

Easter and The Island

Here it is, Easter Sunday, and there are upwards of thirty miles of herring spawn on the beaches around Sitka Sound and no evidence that the tide is turning anytime soon.  This is fine, and even dandy, because the curiously wonderful stench of rotting roe is authentically indicative of the statement that, around here, “Spring is in the air.”  Finally. Whales and sea lions, otters and eagles enjoy the bounty right alongside the fishermen and children that are snagging up abundant herring that will continue to loiter about the surrounding waters throughout the spawn time and into the next month … Continue reading Easter and The Island

Closing the Purse

Alas, the fifth and final fishery of the Sac Roe Herring season occurred this afternoon as the purse closes on another year of the annual derby here in Sitka.  Harvesters targeted the remaining 930 tons of silvery sac roe containers in the Silver Bay area, south of town, in a typically competitive opening which essentially entailed 15 delicious minutes of hot seine-on-seine action. To fully appreciate what this means, short of being on location, here are two videos to wet your chops: As viewed from the beach: As viewed from the sky: For anyone wondering about the first four openings, here are the vital stats: March … Continue reading Closing the Purse

Spawn Alert!

SITKA SAC ROE HERRING SEASON is in full swing.  Approximately 5,000 tons of the slippery little silver dollars were netted on the second opening held Thursday, March 26, 2009, which means that roughly half the quota of 14,504 tons remains to be scooped up before the season ends.  Immediate rumours of herring spawn lacing the beaches in the Middle Island vicinity is essentially the equivalent of a code red warning at the Alaska Volcano Observatory, signifying that that everyone else should be getting their spawn on by now. Normally, I would advise ladies and gentlemen, both, to keep shaving yer backs and … Continue reading Spawn Alert!